Cop Wife (CW) vs. Normal Wife(NW)
* I am only going to speak how I feel. My opinions and feelings
are mine not other cop’s wives**

NO,I don’t think that I am better than NW’s. I know that I am not part of the “Desperate Housewives of Top Cops”…although I know a few...and that will be another topic for another day... In fact, surprisingly if anything, I think NW’s have it pretty good and I am jealous of how NW's get to live. I realize maybe jealous is not the right word but the only other word that comes to mind is envious. I know, I shouldn’t be, and seriously, the thought comes in my mind and leaves almost as quickly as it came. I often quote the verse Phillipians 4:11(the one I would tell a friend when she lived in a dumpy state that I wont mention) “I am not saying I am in need, I have learned, in whatsoever state I am in, I will be content”. To my bible scholar friends, I do know that this is not talking about a physical state but its talking about a place in your life. The battle with cancer, the child with a disability, the sister who wants her other sibling to “see the light”… Or in my case, the husband who is trying to keep the bad guys from getting to the good guys.

I think in my mind, I envision that NW, sending her husband off to work in the morning, she looks a lot like June Cleaver, perfect hair, nice pearls, dress, and great heels which she will stay in all day while she does her laundry, cooking, cleaning and even gardening. When she kisses him and gives him a hug she puts her arms around him and never for a second thinks, “this could be the last hug I ever give him”.

On the other side, the CW would like to get her arms around him but just cant quite make it ,NO, its not because of too many dunkin’donuts,it's because its hard to wrap your arms around a man, plus a bullet-proof vest, the gun belt containing the gun, the night stick, the handcuffs, the extra ammunition, and the pepper spray. All the things I pray, as I hug him, will keep him safe and bring him home to me at the end of his shift.

A certain part of me leaves out the door with him ever day and sometimes it doesn’t always return…

like my sympathy towards others and the crisis they create in their own lives…

Like that Depserate Housewife who was speeding because the kids were late to soccer and she cant believe this worthless cop gave her a ticket and once she gets to soccer she will proceed to bash and trash the cop all while I sit there behind her having to listen to her complain about the fact that my husband and his brothers and sisters on the force are just trying to make the roads safer so that we can all get there ALIVE.

I lose a little bit of my innocence...

because my mind goes to the things he has seen and felt like sharing with me even though I know that it is probably only 10% of what he actually sees, the other 90% would probably kill me.

And most importantly

my heart…

there are nights my heart doesn’t hurt so bad, but then there are other nights where I have a sick broken heart feeling that he is dealing with someone who hates him right now and wishes he were dead and I worry that at any given moment the doorbell
will ring and THE 3 PEOPLE will be on my doorstep… somewhere in the hidden cop’s spouse rules, we know there will be at least 3 that come to tell you the news, the sarg, the LT, and the chaplain…

Can I say, as someone once said to me…”it really draws a vacuum!”(the Christianic way to say “it sucks!” ha!)


I love my family, my church and all of my NW friends. I just hope you all realize that sometimes I need you, my NW’s, to realize that just like your husbands who keep computers going and banks running, my husband is trying to keep us all safe.I PROMISE I don’t mean to draw a line between my CW’s and NW's, its just each of you fill a special part of me… My CW’s fill that part that makes me feel like my struggles and my anxieties are normal , my NW’s help keep me motivated as a mom and they help me realize that there are times when I need to be me… just ME, not a CW. I cant let my husbands job define me so completely that I lose sight of who I really am and who I was before I took on the role of CW.